When I Get to Heaven
by PassionoftheCreamery
Summary: As time passes, Zuko begins to degrade before his sister's eyes.


The first time she heard him say it, she was nine years old. They sat by the turtleduck pond, tossing bread crusts to the happy animals. Zuko leaned back on his hands and gazed up at the sky, a distant look coming into his eyes.

"When I get to heaven, y'know what I'm gonna do?"

She turned her head to stare at him.

"I'm gonna find a nice place with soft clouds and a good view, where no one will ever bother me. And I'm gonna protect you so nobody will ever hurt you, as long as you live."

After several long moments of silence he turned to look at her.

"What? Did I say something weird?"

She continued to stare, brow furrowed and mouth slightly ajar. He leaned over and waved a hand in her face.

"Hey! World to Zula!"

She snapped her mouth shut and slapped his hand out of the way, leaping forward to tackle him to the ground.

"Don't you ever say something weird like that again!"

He blinked and stared up at her, face muddled with confusion.

He went to bed early that night. And the next. And the next...

Two years later, they sat at the dinner table. She sliced her ham carefully and cleanly, watching from the corner of her eye as Zuko stabbed his hunk in a barbaric manner and tore off a piece with his teeth.

"Hey Zula." He said in between loud chews, "When I get to heaven, y'now what I'm gonna do?"

She looked down at her plate as he spoke, her appetite gone. When he had finised his speech, she glanced over. He gave her a grin from ear to ear. She stomped on his foot. He grimaced and leaned over, dropping his hands beneath the table to rub his aching toes.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

She found him curled up on his bedroom floor hours later, gripping his legs in pain. He refused to see a healer.

Three years passed, and Zuko gained a bit of grace. They walked through the garden, enjoying the peace of the evening. Zuko sat down on a bench, leaning back to gaze up at the sunset. A distant look came into his eyes.

"Hey Zula." He spoke softly, raising a hand to outline a lone cloud drifting through the sky. "When I get to heaven, you know what I'm gonna do?"

She sank down beside him, her stomach turning. She looked down at her hands. Then at the flowers around them. Anywhere but at him. Anywhere but at the place he was so interested in.

She didn't notice he had fallen silent until he reached over to lay his shaking hand atop hers. She stared down for a moment, her brow furrowing, then she looked up at him. He was pale, beads of sweat resting on his brow. She reached over to wipe them away. His hand clutched hers tightly. The other, she noticed, gripped the fabric of his pants in a white-knuckled fist.

"Zuko." She murmured, just loud enough to get his attention as his gaze began to drift. His eyes snapped to hers. "Tell me the truth. Are you alright?"

Moments passed. She watched him swallow and forced his fingers to loosen their grip.

"No." He admitted quietly, "I'm not."

She saw him seize for the first time that night.

Another two years found them alone in the throne room, waiting to meet with their father. She sat on the marble floor, her legs crossed. Zuko's head rested in her lap, his eyes closed. He rested on his back, his hands balled into fists at his sides, the only outward sign of his pain. She combed her fingers through his hair, teasing out oily knots.

"You need a bath." She murmured. He opened his eyes and raised a shaking hand to pull on a dull lock.

"Yeah. I do."

He tried to laugh, but could only grimace. A tear spilled from the corner of his eye and rolled down a hollow cheek. She wiped it away as he began to tremble and leaned over to rest her brow on his. Her hair fell forward to drape their faces in shadow.

"Zula." He choked out, raising his eyes to stare up at her, "When I get to heaven-"

"I know." She cut him off, cupping his face and turning his head to the side as he began to convulse. "You're going to find a nice place somewhere." She gritted her teeth, holding back her tears. "With soft clouds. And a good view." She reached out to take his hand, squeezing hard as her tears began to fall. "Somewhere no one will ever bother you."

She fell silent, turning him onto his side as he wretched.

The convulsions slowly eased, and his strangled voice spoke the remaining words.

"And I'm going to protect you, so that no one will ever hurt you."

He raised his hands and tangled his fingers in her hair, smiling gently up at her as he rolled onto his back once more.

"As long as you live."

She wiped his mouth with her sleeve before raising her hands to rest against his, heart pounding in her chest.

"And when it's your time," He continued softly, "I'll take you away from here, and we'll go to that place together."

He untangled his hands and raised them toward the ceiling, a distant look entering his eyes for the last time.

He reached toward something, grasping at air.

"I wish you could see this, Zula." He whispered, "It's so beautiful."

The strain eased from his voice as he spoke, his face softening. He lowered his hand back to the floor, a soft sigh passing his lips.

"God, it's beautiful."

She pressed her lips to his brow as he stilled and whispered farewell.


End file.
